Reprogrammed

"Gently, honey," Brigitte cautioned, putting her hand over Robert's and showing him how to swirl the pan. "Oh, honey, that's a good idea." She left him to it for a second and reached up to fetch a jar of pure golden delight, which Robert would learn was 'honey' that was made by bees - her bees specifically. She would teach him that honey came in different flavours based on the flowers the bees ate, and that her honey in particular was some of the most expensive in the world because it was authentic. Anyway, the swirling was done, so Brigitte taught Robert to gently chop the onions and mushrooms with a little knife. "You're doing really well," Brigitte said as she watched over him. Her eyes were red and streaming tears.

"No, no, it's the onions," Brigitte said. "They emit strong chemicals that make your eyes sting, and when they're not cooked they taste awful. It's to stop wild animals from eating them. But some intrepid human in history decided to cook them and found out they taste delicious. Now, pop them in the pan and stir until they're both browned. Oh, and stop calling me Ms Brigitte please. Just 'Brigitte' is perfect."

For the next 20 minutes, Brigitte taught Robert how to cook an omelette. She filmed the process for a video idea that she had for later. "Oh my god, this looks amazing," she groaned as she sat down in front of her omelettes with buttered toast, and mixed fruits drizzled with honey, and also a mug of coffee that she'd made while Robert did the rest. Brigitte took a bite of the omelette and her eyes rolled back. "My gooooooood," she moaned. "This tastes amazing!"

"It's a shame you can't enjoy the taste of food like this," Brigitte said a little forlornly, though it came off as a bit insincere since she had a mouthful of egg. "Although, I have contacts in the cities. There are plenty of robotics programmers, maybe one can make you a chip that'll let you enjoy taste and other sensations - but I'm getting ahead of myself, my gosh. You only just got here yesterday. I'm sorry, I normally get all manic in the mornings and come up with billions of ideas. Only, like, three will be any good. Umph!" Her mouth was full again in a second.

"Oh, I can fix that for you!" Brigitte said excitedly, clapping her hands. "Then you can enjoy all this with me. But... It'll have to be later. We got a farm to run, sorry." She wolfed down the rest of her food to the sound of animals complaining in the distance. They were awake and wanted to make sure Brigitte knew it. "Could you put some water in those bowls?" she asked Robert, pointing to some metal bowls on the ground. "I'll be right back." Having gone back to her bedroom, Robert was down alone with Moses and Amos. Amos just sat there panting and drooling like a weirdo, but Moses' sharp eyes watched Robert closely, suspiciously.

Amos lazily dunked her face into her bowl and lapped up plenty of water, but Moses was less eager. His suspicious eye remained on Robert as he took a few mouthfuls of water, but no more. Brigitte returned a few minutes later. "Oh, Amos, you messy girl," she lightly scolded, moving both water bowls onto a towel in the corner. Amos had made puddles all over the floor, and even Moses had sprinkled water in a few places. Brigitte used another towel to mop up the water, then straightened up and grinned. Today, she was wearing a pink and white gingham shirtless blouse, and pale blue dungarees. She was wearing a little makeup too. Robert would come to know that when Brigitte was dressed up nicely like this, she would be filming something. "One last before we go," she said, leading Amos over to her plush bed in the corner. Amos lay down lazily, and Brigitte began to lightly press on her fat tummy.

”Oh, let me explain,” Brigitte said. “Amos is pregnant, see how big she is? I’m just checking to make sure all the babies are where they should be. There’s 7 of them in there which is quite a lot. Feels like... Yep, all good.” Brigitte gave Amos lots of kisses on her face, and Amos returned them with sloppiness. “Good girl. You still here now.” Amos lay her head down to rest as Brigitte got up and went to the door. Moses nuzzled his mate’s belly before zipping over to his master’s side. “You ready for another day on the farm?” Brigitte asked Robert with a hand on the door knob.

Brigitte dramatically threw open the door and led Robert outside. It was a pleasantly cool morning, even though the sky was a fiery early morning orange. Brigitte picked up a rucksack and they set off. "Sure, I can get pregnant," she said as they strolled leisurely down the path. "Um, do you not know how breeding works?" She had never imagined her first time explaining sex to someone would be to a robot...

"Well, pregnancy is a complicated process," Brigitte said. And so, she told him all about it in a fair amount of detail. Nothing graphic, just the scientific stuff. She told him about the need for a male and female while they fed the small animals and let them out into their pen. She told him about meiosis while they fetched Ferrari from the stable and hooked him up to the cart. She told him about the gestation process while they corralled the sheep and other large animals out into the field. She stopped talking when they passed the scene of the violence from last night, which probably gave Robert time to compute what she'd told him and to realise that she knew a looooot about pregnancy...

Brigitte chuckled. "In the act of making babies, sure," she said. "But I've never made a baby myself. I would need a male human that I love dearly for that, and I've never met one. But all the female animals on my farm have had babies so that's why I know so much about it, I guess." They'd passed the violence by now and were out through the corn into the open field. The sheep and co began to graze happily, and Brigitte dismounted from the cart to let Ferrari free too. "First order of the day," she said to Robert. "Gotta repair the outer shield generator." She went back and pulled some tarp off of the cart, revealing all kinds of widgets and fixing gadgets. "It's a bit of a long walk. Do you wanna stay here with the animals?"

Brigitte grinned and patted Robert's arm. "Alright then, get down," she said, encouraging him down from the cart. "Make sure they don't start fighting each other, the donkey can get a little angsty so keep an eye on him. I'll be back in an hour, hour and a half maybe. If you don't see me coming back, come get me okay? I'm just over there." She pointed at an inauspicious point out of the edge of the field, where there was a plain stone wall going all around.

And so, Robert had a chill time looking after the animals in the field. They were mostly peaceful, though like Brigitte had warned the donkey was a little upstart. It bit the butts of a couple of the sheep who wandered too close, and then got up in Ferrari's face when they mingled too close together. Funny, he was the scrawniest of the large animals but he had the largest personality. He didn't like Robert much when he told him to stop, so soon he'd gone to sulk over by the cart. 55 minutes after Brigitte left, she returned with oil on her face and hands. "Mama's home!" she greeted the animals, who bleated and honked happily to see her.

Brigitte waved her hand dismissively and grinned. “Nah, no time for that. Now that I’ve got you here to help me, I have big plans for the farm. Come with me, we’ll leave everyone here.” They left the animals to graze, with a stoic Moses standing watch. Brigitte led Robert all the way back to the farm house. “I’m thinking of adding more to the farm,” she told Robert as she got a hologram projector and projected the farm onto the kitchen table, with all the buildings visible. “There’s more that could be added here, more efficiency with the precious space we have. What do you think?”